Exceeding Expectations: Why i'm owning being a "Mom Boss"

I recently attended a seminar at LinkedIn associated with a career prep program.  They instructed us to create a brand presentation and told us we would be presenting in front of companies we would possibly interview for in the future. I struggled with this assignment! I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I took a moment to look at everything I’ve done and how I could pitch my brand to be unique from others. Mind you, this seminar involves students who landed internships at Google, attend Ivy League schools and on TOP of their game. I didn’t know how a country girl from a small town would stand out but I MADE IT HAPPEN J.

Oh…see this is what I used in my presentation. I thought about everything I accomplished and how I MADE IT HAPPEN. I figured I could talk about my achievements and after wrapping up each accomplishment tell how I made it happen. For example: it went a little something like this….Although, I found out about the opportunity to travel to Japan three days before the deadline I ________ (did you say made it happen? J ???

Okay, so getting to the point, I really dreaded presenting my slide because I felt like mine was basic and everyone else’s was going to be extraordinary. As my group was called I realized that it was only about 7 of us and two recruiters. Great! I can handle a crowd of 7!

As we went in the room, my stomach was bubbling and I was just ready to get the brand presentation over with!! One thing about my brand is that I always try to volunteer to go first. Welp, not this time!

Fast forward the story, I didn’t really know how I wanted to present my brand. A young man volunteered to go first and he told us about his whole family. Hmmm, I wonder if I should talk about my family? I thought. Nah, this isn’t the place for that! They’re going to look at me silly.

I sat and felt the vibe of the recruiters and room. They were professional, but relaxed, nice, and transparent. Others volunteered to go and they were all being transparent about their brand and passion. As I set back, I thought of the perfect brand presentation for myself but I felt that it was too risky to take. While talking about how I made a lot of accomplishments happen, I wanted to wrap it up and say that I accomplished a lot while I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 6 months, but I couldn’t fathom telling alllllll of that.

Eventually, I felt that I was ready to present so I volunteered to go next. I began telling about my brand by explaining how I was motivated to work in media when I stepped foot on campus. I shared my experience of starting a women’s empowerment show my sophomore year, traveling to Japan, writing scripts for a concert during the 2015 Essence Festival, and how I’m an incoming intern at BET. After each accomplishment, after I said “I,” I asked them to say “made it happen.” I’m really into storytelling as you can see, so I decided to turn my brand into a story.  When I concluded the story I said “What you all don’t know is that while I accomplished everything, I was pregnant with my daughter who is 6 months today! I want to be an inspiration.  No matter what obstacles you face,you can make anything happen!”

Then everyone was staring awkwardly and slowly clapped. OH GOSH WHY DID I SAY THAT L WORST MISTAKE EVER!! After I presented, the recruiters asked everyone to volunteer to give feedback. “Why did I listen to my gut??” I thought…

 The girl to the right of me told me how my story was phenomenal and she liked how I pitched it.

Okay…..tell me what I did wrong???

She didn’t say anything! Okay, now let me hear what the recruiters have to say.

The recruiters told me how I did a great job and they are very convinced that I can make anything happen. Wow! Here I was wishing I would have never shared my story, but they were really inspired by me. Fast forward, I talked with one of the recruiters later at a networking event and she shared with me that she didn’t tell her personal life a lot but she told me that she had her kid very young (close to 17) and how she was so proud of me for everything I was doing. Wow! I talked to her asking all types of advice for working moms in media. She felt everything I went through and gave me great advice about how to own that I’m a mom-boss in media and include my baby in everything that I do. This media company I presented to is one of the top media talent agencies out there! They represent stars such as Will Smith and Jamie Foxx! See, if I would have never shared my story, I would have never made that intimate connection and made such a good impression. This is one of the first times I felt that I did a great job and I was so proud of myself!

A couple takeaways:

·         It’s ok not to go first. Sometimes you need to sit back and observe. Think before you speak. Your brand is important and you don’t want to mess it up by just going first just….because.

·         Stop beating yourself down. You are worthy, talented, and you have something to offer that no one else in the world can give. I thought that my presentation was going to be the worst because I was around so many talented people, but it actually ended up being one of the best! (Well that’s the vibe I got from the recruiters J )

·         Evaluate. Now if I was in a room filled with lots of corporate guys who don’t have families and seemed as if they were strict and tight, I would not have shared my story. This doesn’t mean that I’m embarrassed by it. It just means that you need to know your audience and know that there’s a time and place for everything.

·         You grow when you’re uncomfortable. I definitely wasn’t the smartest person in the room. I didn’t want to perform in front of students who were so awesome, intelligent, and accomplished. I just wanted to be comfortable in a corner and not present my brand at all. But presenting boosted my confidence and showed that I have something to bring to the table  even though I’m not the smartest person in the room!

·         Own your story. A big piece of advice I received from the recruiter that had her child young as well was to own my story and own that I am a mom-boss. She talked about how Beyonce practices her performances and Blue Ivy is by her side. She talked about how Shonda Rhimes writes in her office while her kids are playing. This gave me so much motivation how I could be a media mogul but still a great mom to my kid. I’m going to always own that I’m a mom-boss and I’m raising my daughter to be a Proverbs 31 woman!

I hope this story will lead you to own your own unique story. If you know a mom-boss please share this story with her!

Blessings xoxo

The Struggle is Real

 I want to ask what do you think of this young lady when you look at her picture? Beauty, Happiness, Poise, Love? Well, looks can be deceiving. This beautiful soul  hung herself on September 5th, 2014. I know of many suicides but this one stuck with me because I kept hearing comments such as "She was too pretty to commit suicide," or "how could someone so talented take their own life?" Well my sister/brother I am here to tell you that the saying "You never know what somebody is going through" is REAL. No matter how talented, funny, outgoing, or beautiful someone may be, it will not exclude them from the thoughts of suicidal. I see so many beautiful girls around campus, and I can tell that they're insecure because they don't know their worth and they've been through so much. An estimated 19 million American adults are living with major depression. Can you imagine that? Out of those 19 million someone close to you can be facing depression. Depression is something serious to deal with. If you have ever dealt with depression you know that it is tough just getting out of the bed in the morning to start your day. If you knew the stories of what people went through that you know I bet you  your mind would be very blown because many people don't look like what they've been through. SO many of us struggle daily and you will never know because we hide it. We walk around like everything is ok but as soon as we hit our bed at night, that is where we break down. Aren't you tired of feeling broken? Aren't you tired of being depressed? Aren't you tired of dreading a day ahead of you? People tell you that you are so beautiful, funny, confident, talented, or smart and you just always say to yourself (If they only knew what the real deal was.) The bad news is that everybody goes through tough times. The good news is that at your darkest, you will find God, and he is a healer!  I'm here to encourage you that there is a way out. I'm here to tell you that there is still hope and you can get your joy and peace back. I'm here to tell you that God is the ONLY one that can break chains. Seek God and he will provide you with comfort. Does this mean that all of your problems will go away in a snap of a finger? No. but what it does mean is that God can grant you the strength to get through situations you can't get through yourself. You cannot rely on YOUR strength all the time because it's a limitation and what happens when we try to take care of everything by ourselves? We end up getting weak, and when we get weak we end up not wanting to be here anymore.

Don't you know those are thoughts from the DEVIL. The devil wants you to feel down, the devil wants you to take your life. The devil wants you to think that you can never be happy again. Can I give you a word of advice? The only reason why I never give up or stop in my walk of faith is because I know the devil is waiting for me to. The devil NEVER takes a break, he's waiting on you to take a break! Stay encouraged, you are closer to your breakthrough than you think.

So, I want to seek God more because I don't want to have this feeling anymore. What should I do?
I encourage you to increase your prayer life, study bible verse that relates to your situation so you can be encouraged, and find a church of power where you can be delivered. Increasing your prayer life is very imperative. By increasing your prayer life, you are able to pour out your heart to God and tell him all of your worries. If you need strength for anything that you are going through ask God for it and you shall receive it. Develop a stronger relationship with God and do things outside of your comfort zone such as fasting or studying the word like you would study for a test. Also, repeat God's word back to him. He said his word would never come back void. Talk to God and tell him that you need him to move in your situation. No matter what type of battle you are dealing with, know that God cares and he'll never forsake you. If you are a college student and you are reading this, it can get really tough in college when we struggle with our grades, and personal lives. It's hard trying to balance but know that prayer changes things.

Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT)

Worrying solves nothing. I had to work on worrying about things but then I stopped because God ALWAYS proved to me why I should not worry and that he has things under control. Once you submit yourself to God, he will grant you with peace. Having God's peace is a wonderful feeling. Peace is when things are going hectic, but you know that God is looking out for you, and you are still glorifying him.

In concluding, we all face our problems everyday but it is up to us on how we face them. If we have God on our side we approach our problems with a different attitude. Jesus is our savior! He gave up his life for us so why not do the same for him? Not even physically but spiritually!

If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is your Lord and Savior then you shall be saved! (This comes with transaction as well) Jesus will know :)

I want to acknowledge the beautiful singer Simone Battle, Robin Williams (An inspiring actor), and every other beautiful soul that has committed suicide.

Rest Peacefully. I pray that you will gain your peace back and I pray that you conquer whatever you are dealing with. Grace, Peace, and Mercy unto you.

Advice To College Freshmen 101

It seems like it was just yesterday when I was counting down the days for move-in day to college. Not knowing what to expect, but just being excited to start a new journey. New lessons, new experiences, new leadership skills, new friends, and new beginnings. I was told that college would be the best 4 years of your life so I was really looking forward to starting this journey. I pride myself of having a successful freshmen year by achieving a 4.0 GPA first semester and a 3.81 cumulative GPA. I was the first freshmen to complete a news package (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202607910532339&set=vb.1034396579&type=2&theater), shadowed behind the reality TV show Love & Hip Hop (Just to see how the production industry is), and earned 2 internships. All of the glory goes to God because without him I would have not achieved any of this. So what is my advice to freshmen? Below are some topics I will discuss. Some recommended by others and some I thought would be beneficial to know.


How do I get the best out of my college experience?
YOU make the best out of your college experience. If all you do is go to class, sleep, eat, study, and repeat then that is what your college experience will consist of. While you are in college you should make the best of it. Join organizations, events, activities, and even field trips! Take advantages of all incentives that your university offers you. Network with others while you are in college. Don't be afraid to make friends and speak to others. A "Hey, how are you" goes far in college. No one can make your college experience great. Only you can!



Prioritize!
Remember why you are in college. Keep your grades up and know that your education comes first. You better not go out to a party or a kickback Thursday night (college night) when you know you have an 8:00 o'clock class in the morning or a paper due the next day that you haven't even started working on. Don't be scared to say NO! Like I said, your grades come first and at the end of the day your "buddies" are not going to be the ones giving you your final grade. Also, don't spend your whole day hanging out with friends, going to the mall, or socializing when you have homework to do. Get your homework out the way first and then have fun. You can also work on your homework a little at a time. For example, for my MWF classes I use to complete the assignments on a TR (Tuesday, Thursday) or the weekend and vise versa. Once you take care of your priorities everything else will fall into place.

Time Management
Time management coincides with prioritizing but the key to time management is finding a balance. During your first year, you may still be testing the waters to see what organizations you would like to be involved in. That is perfectly fine! Just make sure you don't give all of your time to an organization to where you are staying up late nights half completing assignments and late for classes in the morning. If you are a part of an organization that involves a lot of your time such as band, couture modeling, or an athlete then you REALLY will need to find a balance where you can get your work done and study so that you can succeed academically. Having a planner, setting alarms, and writing out everything really works. You need to set reminders about meetings, study groups, and when assignments are due. PLEASE be sure to check your email EVERYDAY and your blackboard EVERYDAY to be sure that you are staying on top of your assignments. Some professors will not remind you about assignments depending on who your professor is. Time is money, and you are a college student so you don't have a lot of money to waste. Be sure that you spend all of your time wisely and that you are being productive.                                                                                                                            

Don't be afraid
When I was a freshmen there were a lot of positions I wanted to run for but I felt like I wasn't ready. I didn't want to fulfill a position if I felt as if I wasn't good enough or not ready. I don't want any of you to have this mentality! You learn by jumping out of your comfort zone! This is how you grow. Now don't go jump for a position that you can't handle. Don't be afraid to go after what you want. First semester I wasn't as bold but 2nd semester I was. People are going to tell you that you may not be able to conquer certain goals you  have set for yourself because you are a freshmen. Don't believe them. I am a journalism major, and someone told me that I probably would not get camera certified until my junior year. Pshhhh, I sure did get camera certified my freshen year where I worked with $10,000+ worth of equipment and in the TV studio. Reminding you that I completed my first news package on my own (just because it was a personal goal) that most seniors did as a senior project. SET GOALS FOR YOURSELF AND WRITE THEM DOWN. When you wake up everyday you will be reminded of your goals and you will achieve them.


Trying to fit in with the wrong crowds
Don't get caught up in fitting in with the wrong crowd. BE YOURSELF. Don't get caught up in the people that "seem cool" and getting a lot of attention because I promise you that their grades are probably not on point. Your friends are who you are and they represent you. Hang out with people that inspire you and that are positive because it rubs off and it is contagious. Just do you boo :)


Staying connected to a church while in College
This topic was requested and I was so excited to give advice on this :) One of my biggest fears was that I would get to college and not have a relationship with God. By attending a campus ministry my relationship with God actually strengthened. There are various campus ministries you can attend that should be close by your campus. Being away from home and starting a new journey can cause you to get distracted and lose your relationship with God. Attend religious events, listen to your favorite gospel song every once in a while and be sure that you PRAY. Practice being a consistent prayer. Be sure that you pray every morning before you start your day. Pray when things are going great and pray when things aren't. Pray for your professors and pray that you get granted favor on your campus. Don't get to college, forget about God and when your grades start slipping you try to come back to him. Our God is a loving God, this is why his love is not like anyone elses. We forget about him, use him when it is convenient, and if he asks too much of us then we run away. Get you a bible and be sure that you spend time with God. It is so relaxing and comforting. Stay in your word because you will experience some ups and downs in college but if you apply the word to your life you will get through it.
Below I will name some of NC A&T's campus ministries. They are all great! If you want to be committed to a ministry then pray to God and ask him to lead you to a ministry.

BCF (Bethel Campus Fellowship)
Impact
New Birth
Citadel

Feel free to join Citadel's prayer call every Wednesday morning at 7 a.m. No matter where are you located, anyone is welcomed to join. 
Phone #: 712.432.1500 
Access code: #1015057

Don't blow up your refund check!
Pleaseeeee don't be that student to blow up half of their refund check at the mall. Learn how to BUDGET. You may need to live off your refund check for the semester. Put money aside for emergencies. Of course go shopping, and spend it on yourself but you need to budget it. You may need to spend your refund on books or tools for school. Buy you a printer, ink, or anything that will benefit you long term. Those new Jordans that just came out can wait!

Adjusting to college
Don't rush to adjust to college. It will happen gradually. You will learn where all of your classes are at, college life and the routine of everything. College is all about learning :)

GO TO CLASS
It's simple. There will be times where you may dread going to class. You need to be on your professors good side because you may be 2-3 points away from an A and because you are a diligent worker and show up to class all the time he/she will grant you those points. I cannot stress enough how imperative it is to go to class. Especially if you attend A&T and it is around homecoming. Some professors reward you for coming to class!

Roommate
Well, I was blessed to have a wonderful roommate! She did hair and everything so I got the roommate discount ;D I did have friends that didn't get a long with their roommate which can be tough. How can you live with someone and not speak to them? I suggest that you make up a roommate agreement and a time to clean so the room will not get messy. Sometimes you may have to be the bigger person when having a roommate and clean up a mess that's theirs. I suggest that you go ahead and pray that you and your roommate will get along. You really don't have control over whether you will have a cool roommate or not but it is not anything to stress about. 

Freshman 15
Don't go crazy in the cafe or on your flex dollars. Budget and spend wisely. For example, I was given $275 flex dollars. I divided that by 5 for the 5 months I was staying there for the semester. That equaled up to $55 so I made sure I didn't spend any more than $55 in flex a month. EXERCISE! You don't want to come back home and it looks like you have gained an extra 50 pounds. Freshmen 15 is no joke! Change up your diet. Don't always eat pizza, burgers, and everything else that is unhealthy for you. Instead of taking the shuttle, walk. Instead of taking the elevator take the stairs unless you have no choice to take the stairs if you are going to live in a struggle dorm like me my freshmen year (Vanstory, Morrow).

Long distance relationships
This topic was suggested by someone. I try my best to serve my audience but I have never been in a long distance relationship. So what I did was interview my wonderful friend Zoey Hardaway on being in a long distance relationship while in college. She did an excellent job answering the questions so I hope her answers help anyone who may be starting the journey of a long distance relationship.

1. How was your mindset when you knew you and your boyfriend were going to be away from each other going to college? Most people throw negative vibes at you saying "Are you going to trust him?" "You're going to go to college, meet and like other people." How did you deal with the negativity?

My first thoughts were "Man this is gonna be hard, either its going to work or its not gonna work." Yes its true that many people said those kinds of negative things and I guess you can say I listened with a grain of salt. I understood what everyone was saying and I knew that they were just trying to warn and protect me from being hurt. But at the same time none of those people were in our relationship so they didn't know the true chemisty, love and loyalty that we have. Only the people in the relationship can judge how things will turn out. I knew there was a possibility of things not working out because we would be 2 states apart with me being in Greensboro and him being back home in Baltimore, but Tyrrell, my boyfriend and I both talked about it and put ourselves in the mindset that we were going to try our best to make it work, and if the distance did turn out to be too much, than we would take a brake on a good note and try to still be friends. Needless to say we tried our best and stayed focused on each other and made it through the entire school year without breaking up.  He'll be attending A&T in the fall so we wont be apart anymore for the rest of college.

2. Being that you were in a long distance relationship I'm sure there were some days that you were busy. How did you and your boyfriend manage talking to each other out the day?

We both texted pretty much all day each day but since we were both in college we both did have busy days and times. On those days we would let the other person know that we had a lot going on that day and we had to have an understanding that the other person had things to do. Being in a long distance relationship, especially in the beginning, both people are on edge, both are vulnerable and both often think the worst because your so far apart from each other. Simply telling the other person that your gonna be a little busy instead of just not texting or talking to them at all can be a simple way to ease the other persons worrying mind. At the same time, If the other person says that they're busy, you cant be jealous and accusing and think things like "he/she is always busy with your new friends" or "is he/she really doing what they say theyre doing?"  No matter what whether it was a busy day, a day where we argued all day or a normal day, Tyrrell and I always face timed or Skyped  at night before bed. Communication is a HUGE  part of making long distance relationships work. I cant stress that anymore. Both people have to make time to talk to each other.

3. When you got to college i'm sure you seen other boys that were attractive. How did you deal with the temptation and prove people wrong that you were going to stay faithful throughout your relationship?
I did just that lol, I honestly can say that I have tunnel vision for my boyfriend. There wasn't any temptation for me because I didn't want any body else besides Tyrrell so it was easy to stay faithful. My case isn't the same for everyone though. For those who may find themselves wanting to talk to other people, they should ask themselves why they feel that way and if its because they're just not feeling their current relationship anymore then they should be honest with the other person instead of cheating or stringing them along. The fact of the mater is that distance can change some relationships. We're still very young so that person shouldn't feel guilty if their feelings start to change because of the distance. Even when people try their best in long distance relationships, the truth is that sometimes people just grow apart. The success of the relationship is dependent on both individuals.

4. How often did you and your boyfriend visit each other?

We saw each other over breaks of course. He came to visit me for GHOE and twice in the spring. Also, for valentines day we both met up in Virginia for a getaway weekend, we got a hotel for 2 nights and three days and spent time together that way (it got postponed because of the snow storm we had but it was still close to valentines day lol).

5. Do you believe that your relationship with God helped you get through a long distance relationship? 

Most definitely! I'm more in touch spiritually than Tyrrell is so I'm not sure for him, but God definitely helped me through. If it weren't for the prayers for patience, focus and endurance I'm not sure where we would be. There were MANY rough times where we could've just taken the easy road and given up but I believe that God kept us together for a reason.

6. What did you learn by being in a long distance relationship?

I learned patience, respect, how to be humble and how to endure. In a long distance relationship you have to have patience and respect above all things. We had problems with trust which made for a very difficult year but by having patience through arguments and allowing ourselves to have the up most respect for the other persons feelings, we were able to make it through. I learned to be humble through arguments. You pick and choose your battles. Sometimes, even when we have the best comeback in the world or when we know were right, we have to swallow our pride and simply just shut up, hold our tongue and just let it go. I learned how to endure by not giving up even when things were the worse.

7. What advice would you give freshmen who are about to enter a long distance relationships?

I would advise freshman to make their own decisions about their relationship, don't let other people make the decisions for you even though they may have your best Interest at heart. If you're gonna try to do a long distance relationship, both people in the relationship have to be really serious about trying to make it work . If one person is giving 100 percent and the other person is only giving 50 percent at trying to make it work then chances are it won't. Don't accuse or worry yourself about each other when you're apart , constant accusations are gonna push you away from each other when nothing may even be going on. Understand that you may possibly find someone or your bf/gf might find someone , if that happens be honest right away, if the distance happens to be too much for your relationship take a break before things get so bad between you that you can't stand each other. At least if you take a break, you can revisit the relationship later when you can be closer to each other. Don't close yourself off from meeting and hanging out with new friends at your new college. You'll probably want to video chat every free chance that you get but if you spend all your free time in your dorm on the phone , you'll miss out on tons of the fun experiences of being away at college.

8. Define in your own way trust when being in a long distance relationship

This is a tough one , for me trust is being confident that your bf/gf is being honest with you, has your best Interest at heart and wouldn't do anything to INTENTIONALLY hurt you. It's okay to be just a tiny bit suspicious on the inside because everyone wants to watch their back and protect their heart but if you have real trust , you won't feel the need to openly accuse the other person of doing anything wrong. In a long distance relationship, trust is important because you have to be confident that the other person is doing the right thing , otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy wondering what the other person is doing

Zoe Hardaway @zoe_reneeee

HAVE FUN

My last advice to you is to have fun during college. Don't get discourage because there are going to be hard times when you feel like giving up. It will all be worth it when you walk across the stage. Also, college isn't for everybody. Don't get depressed because you are learning that college isn't for you. Give it a chance your freshmen year. By your sophomore/junior year, you will realize if you really want to be in college or not. You may have another dream that you want to fulfill. Just make sure you have a plan and you do what makes you happy. Just keep in mind that nowadays, in order to live well you need to have a Masters. I am a strong believer of favor and that God will make a way out of no way. God will bless you with a job that you aren't educationally qualified for. Seek him first, fulfill his purpose and everything will fall into place. I pray that your first year of college is filled with success, love, and peace. If you have any questions feel free to email me @ dejah814@gmail.com. Even if I don't know you, I will be glad to answer anyone's question or give advice. Peace and blessings unto you.

Praising Through The Problems

Ever felt like you were working hard for something and you weren't seeing any results? Maybe you've been looking for a job and you just can't seem to find one, or maybe even you are at a job, you see no progress and it's driving your crazy. Well if you have ever experienced this or if you are going through this now I am here to tell you not to fret. God gives hope to our troubled hearts. It may not be the perfect timing or God might just have something better in store for you. Sometimes God will put you in a battle empty handed so that when you do get the victory you will know that it wasn't you, but HIM. Where you are right now it is for a reason. Now at the time of the test you may feel like God has forgotten about you but he hasn't.

God put it on my heart to share a testimony where I was experiencing this but the difference between this test and others is that I praised God through my problems. So, I have been spending most of my summer in Virginia and I decided to look for a job. While I was down here I put in many applications and I got calls from various stores. The first was Forever 21. I was so excited when I got the call! If you shop at Forever 21 then you know any girl would love to work there. During the interview I feel like I did fairly well to get the job but I never received a call back. I just told myself that it wasn't God's will. The next two interviews I had was with Charlotte Rouse and American Eagle. They were both group interviews and I felt even better about these interviews than I did about the Forever 21 interview. I still did not get a call from either. Mind you I am a journalism major so I know how to communicate pretty well and I did have a year of experience in customer service. Now I was doing so good by not thinking negative. I was just like "Oh well, I guess God just doesn't want me to have a job this summer." You know when you try to look at the good out of every bad the enemy is going to try to get to you HARD. Suddenly I was having thoughts like "Wow, I wonder why I didn't really get hired for anything. Was I not good enough? Was I not pretty enough?" I knew this was the enemy trying to get to me. I tried to remain positive about the situation but every once in a while the thoughts would pop back up in my head. 

If you know WHO you are and WHAT you are capable of no matter how many people tell you NO you should never doubt yourself. You are a child of the most highest. Jesus loves you and he thinks you are to die for. I had to keep telling myself this and my loved ones were always there to encourage me as well. Suddenly, I turned on some praise music and I was praising God through the midst of my problems. You have to keep speaking and believing in your heart that God has everything under control. When we go through tough times and feel like God isn't there for us or nothing isn't going our way it is imperative that we stay prayed up, in our word, and making sure that we are acknowledging God. Now when I was going through this trial I could have thrown a pity-party for myself and walked around letting people feel sorry for me but I didn't. I took all of my problems to God and stayed prayed up. You may be looking for a job and no one will hire you or you may be at a job that you are trying to leave but you can't find another job. Trust God's timing. Sometimes we have Trust Issues! Think about this...Every struggle you ever went through, you might have not understood it but it molded you into a better person right? 

Proverbs 3: 5-6 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,  and he will make straight your paths

Don't lean to YOUR understanding when things aren't right. The holy spirit is the height of all intelligence! The reason why we don't understand what goes on at times is because GOD's intelligence is too high for us to understand. Stop worrying, God got ya! Ask God to forgive you for doubt you had in him and worrying. Worrying is the opposite of faith. It is a waste of time and it doesn't change anything but steal our joy.

You may be wondering, so did you ever get a job or NAH? lol, well to answer your question..I did! In fact, I didn't just get a regular job, I ended up getting 2 internships where I work from home. God knew that I would be traveling a lot and the jobs I applied for probably weren't that flexible. Instead of settling, God blessed me with a non-paid internship (Bright Girl Media- Digital Marketing Intern) where I will be receiving a lot of experience for my major and a paid internship (Course Hero Inc.- Business Development Intern) where I receive more compensation hourly than I would have if I would of worked as a sales associate. I realized God had something better in store for me! That is why I never ended up getting hired at a retail job. God took me through this to let anyone that if you are looking for a job and you can't find one then don't fret. If you are struggling financially, it will get better. God will make a way out of NO way. All you have to do is trust him. If you are at a job right now and you hate it then embrace it! God doesn't want you to have another job yet because he is trying to humble you and prepare you for a better job but it's not your time yet. You may be going through a season of preparation. To wrap this up I would like to end with one of my favorite scriptures when going through trials. 

1 Peter 5:10 

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you. (KJV)

Remember to wear your struggle good and praise God in the hallway until he opens up another door. By praising God I mean to stay prayed up, read your word, and glorify him. Whatever your praise is, praise him through your problems. Glorify him and thank him for everything you are going through because in the end it will pay off. Besides! Our suffering is far less than which Christ suffered and he did not complain. When things are going good it's easy to quote "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me," but soon as we have a problem we throw a pity- party for ourselves and act like our world is about to end. God loves you like crazy and he will never leave or forsake you. I pray that you endure the season that you are going through and that it makes you better, not bitter. 

Peace, grace, and mercy unto you. 

Nostalgic Memories

Prom is one of the most memorable nights of your teenage years. What better feeling is it to put on a beautiful gown, flawless makeup, and your hair being LAID? The best feeling a lady can have is feeling confident with herself when she looks in the mirror. Probably my favorite part of prom is getting dolled up and taking pictures!! If you know me, you know that I love to take pictures lol. I was ecstatic when I was asked to go to an Autism Prom as a date for my cousin Patrick. A couple weeks before, I was reminiscing of my prom night and how I wanted to go to another prom. My wish got granted! God is great. The Autism prom was full of positive vibes from the teens. Everyone looked so handsome/beautiful! It was a Caribbean theme and lots of food! One thing I admired about these high school students with autism is that they had a good time and didn't care what anyone else thought about them. They lived out the moment to the fullest. Here are a couple of pics! Also, I'll tell about how I got my dress exactly on the same day and did my hair myself. You don't have to go out and spend a lot of money to look GOOD! 

Dress: Ross 52.99 W/tax (Most dresses were in the 25.99-40.00 range but this was more expensive because of the material.)

Shoes: I had on flat plain shoes. I chose a long dress so I wouldn't have to spend any money on buying shoes. *Pros of long dresses!

Earrings: I got these from my aunt but you can get earrings like this from a beauty supply store for less than $10.

How I achieved my hairstyle: I did a Bantu knot-out. At first I did the Bantu-knot out it did not come out as I expected. I took it out earlier that day around 12 just to see what I was working with. I was disappointed, so I tried again. At first I put a teeny bit of water and I used "As I Am" Moisture Milk. Ladies we all know when we want our hair to come out perfect it does the opposite! So the second time I used the moisture milk along with Motions Foam Wrap Lotion. (The Foam Lotion gave it a more defined curl and made the curl hold more.) I kept it in from 2-6. It came out great! I put my fingers through the curls to make them looser. If the front part of your hair comes out alright but not how you want it, you can just pull it back in a hump like I did. If you don't have natural hair you can just look up an elegant hairstyle on YouTube!

Makeup: I had my cousin's counselor do my makeup but all you really need to look flawless is a good foundation or BB cream, great eyebrows, and a popping lipstick! I had on a dark brown lipstick that I got from Wet & Wild (1.99)

This is what I call FLAWLESS on a budget!!

All together: Under 70$

More pics from prom.....

 Red Carpet

 My cousin was sharp!

“Do not fear people with Autism, embrace them, Do not spite people with Autism unite them, Do not deny people with Autism accept them for them their abilities will shine. God gives special children to special people."