It seems like it was just yesterday when I was counting down the days for move-in day to college. Not knowing what to expect, but just being excited to start a new journey. New lessons, new experiences, new leadership skills, new friends, and new beginnings. I was told that college would be the best 4 years of your life so I was really looking forward to starting this journey. I pride myself of having a successful freshmen year by achieving a 4.0 GPA first semester and a 3.81 cumulative GPA. I was the first freshmen to complete a news package (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202607910532339&set=vb.1034396579&type=2&theater), shadowed behind the reality TV show Love & Hip Hop (Just to see how the production industry is), and earned 2 internships. All of the glory goes to God because without him I would have not achieved any of this. So what is my advice to freshmen? Below are some topics I will discuss. Some recommended by others and some I thought would be beneficial to know.
How do I get the best out of my college experience?
YOU make the best out of your college experience. If all you do is go to class, sleep, eat, study, and repeat then that is what your college experience will consist of. While you are in college you should make the best of it. Join organizations, events, activities, and even field trips! Take advantages of all incentives that your university offers you. Network with others while you are in college. Don't be afraid to make friends and speak to others. A "Hey, how are you" goes far in college. No one can make your college experience great. Only you can!
Prioritize!
Remember why you are in college. Keep your grades up and know that your education comes first. You better not go out to a party or a kickback Thursday night (college night) when you know you have an 8:00 o'clock class in the morning or a paper due the next day that you haven't even started working on. Don't be scared to say NO! Like I said, your grades come first and at the end of the day your "buddies" are not going to be the ones giving you your final grade. Also, don't spend your whole day hanging out with friends, going to the mall, or socializing when you have homework to do. Get your homework out the way first and then have fun. You can also work on your homework a little at a time. For example, for my MWF classes I use to complete the assignments on a TR (Tuesday, Thursday) or the weekend and vise versa. Once you take care of your priorities everything else will fall into place.
Time management coincides with prioritizing but the key to time management is finding a balance. During your first year, you may still be testing the waters to see what organizations you would like to be involved in. That is perfectly fine! Just make sure you don't give all of your time to an organization to where you are staying up late nights half completing assignments and late for classes in the morning. If you are a part of an organization that involves a lot of your time such as band, couture modeling, or an athlete then you REALLY will need to find a balance where you can get your work done and study so that you can succeed academically. Having a planner, setting alarms, and writing out everything really works. You need to set reminders about meetings, study groups, and when assignments are due. PLEASE be sure to check your email EVERYDAY and your blackboard EVERYDAY to be sure that you are staying on top of your assignments. Some professors will not remind you about assignments depending on who your professor is. Time is money, and you are a college student so you don't have a lot of money to waste. Be sure that you spend all of your time wisely and that you are being productive.
Don't be afraid
When I was a freshmen there were a lot of positions I wanted to run for but I felt like I wasn't ready. I didn't want to fulfill a position if I felt as if I wasn't good enough or not ready. I don't want any of you to have this mentality! You learn by jumping out of your comfort zone! This is how you grow. Now don't go jump for a position that you can't handle. Don't be afraid to go after what you want. First semester I wasn't as bold but 2nd semester I was. People are going to tell you that you may not be able to conquer certain goals you have set for yourself because you are a freshmen. Don't believe them. I am a journalism major, and someone told me that I probably would not get camera certified until my junior year. Pshhhh, I sure did get camera certified my freshen year where I worked with $10,000+ worth of equipment and in the TV studio. Reminding you that I completed my first news package on my own (just because it was a personal goal) that most seniors did as a senior project. SET GOALS FOR YOURSELF AND WRITE THEM DOWN. When you wake up everyday you will be reminded of your goals and you will achieve them.
Trying to fit in with the wrong crowds
Don't get caught up in fitting in with the wrong crowd. BE YOURSELF. Don't get caught up in the people that "seem cool" and getting a lot of attention because I promise you that their grades are probably not on point. Your friends are who you are and they represent you. Hang out with people that inspire you and that are positive because it rubs off and it is contagious. Just do you boo :)
Staying connected to a church while in College
This topic was requested and I was so excited to give advice on this :) One of my biggest fears was that I would get to college and not have a relationship with God. By attending a campus ministry my relationship with God actually strengthened. There are various campus ministries you can attend that should be close by your campus. Being away from home and starting a new journey can cause you to get distracted and lose your relationship with God. Attend religious events, listen to your favorite gospel song every once in a while and be sure that you PRAY. Practice being a consistent prayer. Be sure that you pray every morning before you start your day. Pray when things are going great and pray when things aren't. Pray for your professors and pray that you get granted favor on your campus. Don't get to college, forget about God and when your grades start slipping you try to come back to him. Our God is a loving God, this is why his love is not like anyone elses. We forget about him, use him when it is convenient, and if he asks too much of us then we run away. Get you a bible and be sure that you spend time with God. It is so relaxing and comforting. Stay in your word because you will experience some ups and downs in college but if you apply the word to your life you will get through it.
Below I will name some of NC A&T's campus ministries. They are all great! If you want to be committed to a ministry then pray to God and ask him to lead you to a ministry.
BCF (Bethel Campus Fellowship)
Impact
New Birth
Citadel
Feel free to join Citadel's prayer call every Wednesday morning at 7 a.m. No matter where are you located, anyone is welcomed to join.
Phone #: 712.432.1500
Access code: #1015057
Don't blow up your refund check!
Pleaseeeee don't be that student to blow up half of their refund check at the mall. Learn how to BUDGET. You may need to live off your refund check for the semester. Put money aside for emergencies. Of course go shopping, and spend it on yourself but you need to budget it. You may need to spend your refund on books or tools for school. Buy you a printer, ink, or anything that will benefit you long term. Those new Jordans that just came out can wait!
Adjusting to college
Don't rush to adjust to college. It will happen gradually. You will learn where all of your classes are at, college life and the routine of everything. College is all about learning :)
GO TO CLASS
It's simple. There will be times where you may dread going to class. You need to be on your professors good side because you may be 2-3 points away from an A and because you are a diligent worker and show up to class all the time he/she will grant you those points. I cannot stress enough how imperative it is to go to class. Especially if you attend A&T and it is around homecoming. Some professors reward you for coming to class!
Roommate
Well, I was blessed to have a wonderful roommate! She did hair and everything so I got the roommate discount ;D I did have friends that didn't get a long with their roommate which can be tough. How can you live with someone and not speak to them? I suggest that you make up a roommate agreement and a time to clean so the room will not get messy. Sometimes you may have to be the bigger person when having a roommate and clean up a mess that's theirs. I suggest that you go ahead and pray that you and your roommate will get along. You really don't have control over whether you will have a cool roommate or not but it is not anything to stress about.
Freshman 15
Don't go crazy in the cafe or on your flex dollars. Budget and spend wisely. For example, I was given $275 flex dollars. I divided that by 5 for the 5 months I was staying there for the semester. That equaled up to $55 so I made sure I didn't spend any more than $55 in flex a month. EXERCISE! You don't want to come back home and it looks like you have gained an extra 50 pounds. Freshmen 15 is no joke! Change up your diet. Don't always eat pizza, burgers, and everything else that is unhealthy for you. Instead of taking the shuttle, walk. Instead of taking the elevator take the stairs unless you have no choice to take the stairs if you are going to live in a struggle dorm like me my freshmen year (Vanstory, Morrow).
Long distance relationships
This topic was suggested by someone. I try my best to serve my audience but I have never been in a long distance relationship. So what I did was interview my wonderful friend Zoey Hardaway on being in a long distance relationship while in college. She did an excellent job answering the questions so I hope her answers help anyone who may be starting the journey of a long distance relationship.
1. How was your mindset when you knew you and your boyfriend were going to be away from each other going to college? Most people throw negative vibes at you saying "Are you going to trust him?" "You're going to go to college, meet and like other people." How did you deal with the negativity?
My first thoughts were "Man this is gonna be hard, either its going to work or its not gonna work." Yes its true that many people said those kinds of negative things and I guess you can say I listened with a grain of salt. I understood what everyone was saying and I knew that they were just trying to warn and protect me from being hurt. But at the same time none of those people were in our relationship so they didn't know the true chemisty, love and loyalty that we have. Only the people in the relationship can judge how things will turn out. I knew there was a possibility of things not working out because we would be 2 states apart with me being in Greensboro and him being back home in Baltimore, but Tyrrell, my boyfriend and I both talked about it and put ourselves in the mindset that we were going to try our best to make it work, and if the distance did turn out to be too much, than we would take a brake on a good note and try to still be friends. Needless to say we tried our best and stayed focused on each other and made it through the entire school year without breaking up. He'll be attending A&T in the fall so we wont be apart anymore for the rest of college.
2. Being that you were in a long distance relationship I'm sure there were some days that you were busy. How did you and your boyfriend manage talking to each other out the day?
We both texted pretty much all day each day but since we were both in college we both did have busy days and times. On those days we would let the other person know that we had a lot going on that day and we had to have an understanding that the other person had things to do. Being in a long distance relationship, especially in the beginning, both people are on edge, both are vulnerable and both often think the worst because your so far apart from each other. Simply telling the other person that your gonna be a little busy instead of just not texting or talking to them at all can be a simple way to ease the other persons worrying mind. At the same time, If the other person says that they're busy, you cant be jealous and accusing and think things like "he/she is always busy with your new friends" or "is he/she really doing what they say theyre doing?" No matter what whether it was a busy day, a day where we argued all day or a normal day, Tyrrell and I always face timed or Skyped at night before bed. Communication is a HUGE part of making long distance relationships work. I cant stress that anymore. Both people have to make time to talk to each other.
3. When you got to college i'm sure you seen other boys that were attractive. How did you deal with the temptation and prove people wrong that you were going to stay faithful throughout your relationship?
I did just that lol, I honestly can say that I have tunnel vision for my boyfriend. There wasn't any temptation for me because I didn't want any body else besides Tyrrell so it was easy to stay faithful. My case isn't the same for everyone though. For those who may find themselves wanting to talk to other people, they should ask themselves why they feel that way and if its because they're just not feeling their current relationship anymore then they should be honest with the other person instead of cheating or stringing them along. The fact of the mater is that distance can change some relationships. We're still very young so that person shouldn't feel guilty if their feelings start to change because of the distance. Even when people try their best in long distance relationships, the truth is that sometimes people just grow apart. The success of the relationship is dependent on both individuals.
I did just that lol, I honestly can say that I have tunnel vision for my boyfriend. There wasn't any temptation for me because I didn't want any body else besides Tyrrell so it was easy to stay faithful. My case isn't the same for everyone though. For those who may find themselves wanting to talk to other people, they should ask themselves why they feel that way and if its because they're just not feeling their current relationship anymore then they should be honest with the other person instead of cheating or stringing them along. The fact of the mater is that distance can change some relationships. We're still very young so that person shouldn't feel guilty if their feelings start to change because of the distance. Even when people try their best in long distance relationships, the truth is that sometimes people just grow apart. The success of the relationship is dependent on both individuals.
4. How often did you and your boyfriend visit each other?
We saw each other over breaks of course. He came to visit me for GHOE and twice in the spring. Also, for valentines day we both met up in Virginia for a getaway weekend, we got a hotel for 2 nights and three days and spent time together that way (it got postponed because of the snow storm we had but it was still close to valentines day lol).
5. Do you believe that your relationship with God helped you get through a long distance relationship?
Most definitely! I'm more in touch spiritually than Tyrrell is so I'm not sure for him, but God definitely helped me through. If it weren't for the prayers for patience, focus and endurance I'm not sure where we would be. There were MANY rough times where we could've just taken the easy road and given up but I believe that God kept us together for a reason.
6. What did you learn by being in a long distance relationship?
I learned patience, respect, how to be humble and how to endure. In a long distance relationship you have to have patience and respect above all things. We had problems with trust which made for a very difficult year but by having patience through arguments and allowing ourselves to have the up most respect for the other persons feelings, we were able to make it through. I learned to be humble through arguments. You pick and choose your battles. Sometimes, even when we have the best comeback in the world or when we know were right, we have to swallow our pride and simply just shut up, hold our tongue and just let it go. I learned how to endure by not giving up even when things were the worse.
7. What advice would you give freshmen who are about to enter a long distance relationships?
I would advise freshman to make their own decisions about their relationship, don't let other people make the decisions for you even though they may have your best Interest at heart. If you're gonna try to do a long distance relationship, both people in the relationship have to be really serious about trying to make it work . If one person is giving 100 percent and the other person is only giving 50 percent at trying to make it work then chances are it won't. Don't accuse or worry yourself about each other when you're apart , constant accusations are gonna push you away from each other when nothing may even be going on. Understand that you may possibly find someone or your bf/gf might find someone , if that happens be honest right away, if the distance happens to be too much for your relationship take a break before things get so bad between you that you can't stand each other. At least if you take a break, you can revisit the relationship later when you can be closer to each other. Don't close yourself off from meeting and hanging out with new friends at your new college. You'll probably want to video chat every free chance that you get but if you spend all your free time in your dorm on the phone , you'll miss out on tons of the fun experiences of being away at college.
8. Define in your own way trust when being in a long distance relationship
This is a tough one , for me trust is being confident that your bf/gf is being honest with you, has your best Interest at heart and wouldn't do anything to INTENTIONALLY hurt you. It's okay to be just a tiny bit suspicious on the inside because everyone wants to watch their back and protect their heart but if you have real trust , you won't feel the need to openly accuse the other person of doing anything wrong. In a long distance relationship, trust is important because you have to be confident that the other person is doing the right thing , otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy wondering what the other person is doing
Zoe Hardaway @zoe_reneeee
HAVE FUN
My last advice to you is to have fun during college. Don't get discourage because there are going to be hard times when you feel like giving up. It will all be worth it when you walk across the stage. Also, college isn't for everybody. Don't get depressed because you are learning that college isn't for you. Give it a chance your freshmen year. By your sophomore/junior year, you will realize if you really want to be in college or not. You may have another dream that you want to fulfill. Just make sure you have a plan and you do what makes you happy. Just keep in mind that nowadays, in order to live well you need to have a Masters. I am a strong believer of favor and that God will make a way out of no way. God will bless you with a job that you aren't educationally qualified for. Seek him first, fulfill his purpose and everything will fall into place. I pray that your first year of college is filled with success, love, and peace. If you have any questions feel free to email me @ dejah814@gmail.com. Even if I don't know you, I will be glad to answer anyone's question or give advice. Peace and blessings unto you.
